do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize