I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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