dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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