This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
