You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
