I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
