They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
