nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
At least make sure they are 18
Why
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
