like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
