She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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