do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize