if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
