He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize