There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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