super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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