Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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