new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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