You work out of a Hotel?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
