why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
