dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i think im in europe. pls send help
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
