I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
