I smell stomach acid.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
