He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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