Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize