so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize