Don't you send me to vm
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
