It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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