Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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