Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
