im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
