I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
COCAINE IS GR8
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
