Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
