Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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