My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm passing your future prison.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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