Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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