Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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