Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize