happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize