David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
