Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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