I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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