Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You don't make any sense
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