apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
