Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize