Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
