no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
