I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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