Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
