I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
