Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
