dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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