There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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