OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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