The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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