Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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