STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
