you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
