You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
These tits shall not be calmed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
