what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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