I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
