Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
