just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize