Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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