the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
