You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
