By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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