Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I sprained my soul last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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