Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
