Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Boobs are out for the taking
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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