My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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