You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize