just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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